A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
