I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
