"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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