I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
