Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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