please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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