Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
