Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
