My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
