I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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