i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
