i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
