I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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