you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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