We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
