Porn is love you can see.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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