Got a toothbrush?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
