Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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