Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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