you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
