i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
