you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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