apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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