So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
