I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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