I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
