HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
