One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
