I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
