I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
