I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
