my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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