I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
