I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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