so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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