Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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