we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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