hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
