3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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