Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
