Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
