the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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