hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
