First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
