Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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