dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
