I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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