Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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