So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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