White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
