you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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